I hope you did not find what you were looking for

I hope that it does not make me a bad person, actually I have several arguments (I would say strong arguments) that I am not a bad person:

One: I have the dignity to hide it when I laugh of people falling on their butt on the ice.
Two: When the punker-burglars on the main station runs after me asking for money (that they end up using on beer, beer and more beer) I do not ask them to fuck off. (I know, readers, an impressive amount of self-control)
Three:  When Jehovah's Witnesses ring the doorbell, I do not slam the door in their faces.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "What is she even doing still? She has clearly proved her goodness already." I could have listed a million reasons why I'm not a bad person, but I have better ways to spend my time. Old readers already know that I'm a giver, and for new readers: I'm a giver. So the whole "Is Trolldis a bad or good person" is not really a question anymore, agreed?

... either way, I still hope you didn't find what you were looking for - this applies to people finding my blog through searching terms like "panties made in Germany", "drunk Germans Lederhosen", "men in manties", and the terms "drunk German" and "lederhosen" in more combinations then you even would think existed, and when it includes the word "sexy", even more combinations come into light . Because - if you did search terms like this, and you did find what you were looking for, this automatically makes statement about my blog, that I would prefer was never made. Not only about my blog, but subsequently me as a blogger. If I were even half as fascinated with panties, and then especially manties, as most of my readers (ok, so not "readers", more "most of the random people stumbling randomly upon my blog searching random, and at times pervy words") I would personally send applications to the nearest psychowards begging them to take me in and fix my head, and I believe I would also get a spot pretty fast. We're talking sick, sick fetishes, ladies and gentlemen. I will not give you any percentage of pervy hits here, those of you who know me personally probably know that my strongest talents are not within maths, those of you who do not: I suck in maths. But who needs maths when they are such pure, good souls?

This a final proof of my striking lack of intelligence. What do you all think happens when writing a blog-post containing words that already bring many doubtful individuals to finding my blog? That's right, it is even more likely that these terms lead to my blog. If I continue like this I'll come before "manties.net" when someone search "manties" on Google. So, the chances are doubled that mantie- and lederhosen-lovers, people wanting sexy drunk Germans on Octoberfest, and other pervs end up right here. Plus, in this blog-post I also applied the word "butt" and "Jehovas Witness" - are we talking a fucked up new fetish? I will be sure to announce when someone stumbled upon my blog with these words. And if you're the person: Hi there, please send me a mail and let me write a blog about you. Love, Trolldis.

I suppose it's time to go to bed before I manage to write more crap, or fall asleep on my keyboard and post a blog written uniquely with my head, perhaps assisted by my nose.

Good night, dear readers! See you next time, then I'll try not to be overly tired and write crap. Promise. :)

Saying Goodbye

It seems like yesterday. We sat around the table, drinking beer, laughing, having fun. Little did I know, that this evening would lead to something dreadful. Little did I know that what seemed like a triviality, would have major consequences.

It was early in the semester, plans, hopes, dreams and intentions. Things were new for us all, new subjects, new time tables, new challenges. I personally had nothing to do with what was decided that evening, I was just the observer. I remained silent when I should spoken, still when I should scream "No, for the love of GOD, NO!". Knowing that you could have done something makes it even harder to say goodbye. But it is inevitable, at a certain point you simply cannot refuse to open your eyes - see the facts - accept the facts.

So here I am, trying to enjoy the last evening with you. Somehow it is hard to realise that you will no longer be here tomorrow. Hard to realise cause I do not want to realise it. Please, give me one more day - one more week. Why now?

I'm drawing my fingers through you one last time, not wanting to let go. But I have to face the truth. You will not even die a graceful death. Tomorrow you will be cut off by an electric razor, fall in a pile of dead hair, and later be flushed down the toilet - what a fate! You will be gone - and my boyfriend will end up looking like an egg. But in all the sorrow, it is important to see, that it is not over. Hair grows out again. The world goes on. However, before this happen: if you will see five eggheads wandering around the streets of Leipzig, you know that they all sat around the table the very night in question - the night that would change their lives more than they knew.

So what's the deal here? What happened this special evening? I think the time has come to tell you, readers: This very evening my boyfriend and his friends came up with this wacko idea of shaving their heads if they were to pass a certain exam at the end of the semester. And great news - they passed. And here I am - about to be the girlfriend of what looks like an egg. A charming egg - he'll get that. I'll just have to think every day that it's hair - it grows out again.

Well, well.. Now I'm spending the rest of the evening with my soon-to-be egg, parting with his hair, in other words: Goodbye.

A Bunch of Racist Assholes

Disclaimer:  My language is not particularly nice within this blog post, if you have a problem with the word "ass" and similar, I suggest you do not read this post. Really.

Na, so who do I mean in the headline? My own kind, Norwegians. Of course just a tiny part of it, and of course there are plenty of racist assholes all over the world. Ok, so if you're a Norwegian, and not a racist asshole - we're fine, no need to get insulted then. And if you are indeed a racist asshole, please get the hell away from my blog. If I find you I will hurt you. That having been said, let's proceed, shall we?

To be able to understand the rest, this is the song that will represent Norway in Eurovision Song Contest  this year:



I don't love it, but I don't think it sucks. My opinion on the song is anyway irrelevant, what is relevant is how much I hate these fucking racist assholes. Ok, so the comment field in youtube is clearly not the place to look if you want to locate the most intelligent people inhabited on earth, but sometimes I just can't help it. And it usually ends up pissing me off. Why? Some people can't think longer than their nose is, and should really all get a pair of robust boots up their asses.

The nominees for the price  "biggest asshole in the world" are as followed:

Asshole 1: "great.. african reps norway.. fucking proud of my country now ... right.. "
Asshole 2: "Go back to Africa and let a Norwegian sing."
Asshole 3:"she is way too ethunic for my taste"
Asshole 4: "And this is NOT representing Norway, our country in any way. We are not africans. "

First of all: You are all (please note: referring to the previously listed assholes) very welcome to kiss my ass, even though I would say my ass is not worthy of your kisses. Actually, you can hate the song as much as you want, I don't care, I'm not here to protect it, but the colour of her skin is irrelevant. Why is she less Norwegian than you? Because she is not as pale as a corpse, blonde haired, blue eyed? Guess what, shitheads - skin colour does not denote nationality, maybe it did an unknown number of years ago, but for Christ sake: We live in 2011, wake up! Multiculturalism. It makes me wanna puke when I hear/read these kinds of statements, why can't the world just be a nice place?

For the record: I find this song better than what Norway usually sends abroad. Finally someone who applies some rhythm, and makes it catchy in a way. For those of you "wanting something Norwegian", guess how many times "Norwegian" music got 0 points in ESC? 4. And Norway was last 10 times. Because? Crappy music. So in my opinion, be happy that someone finally does something different, and stop judging people after skin colour.

By the way, readers. If anyone of you happen to know Asshole 1, 2, 3 or 4. Please do the following: Kick their asses, and tell me that you did. I will bake you muffins, or cake. Whatever you prefer. One should get rewarded for participating in bringing justice to the world.

And now I'm gonna watch puppies and kittens on youtube to calm down and forget for a while how many idiots the world holds.

With the intention of turning your Sunday-frown upside down

If you would drug me down, put me into a completely black room without any contact to the outside world, or any knowledge about time, day, week, month or year. If you would keep me there for years, feed me through a hole in the wall where I'd get all food in floating form through a straw. No television, no newspapers, no nothing. I would go completely crazy. And in the state of being completely crazy - I swear - I would still be able to feel when it was Sunday, cause I am 100% certain that Sundays will always just feel a bit sadder, greyer and shittier. Now, this is not me making a bet or anything, so I'd really appreciate it if you would not kidnap me.

This particular Sunday you are all in luck, this is, if you like British humour. If you do not like British humour, I suggest you locate the cross in the upper right corner and click it. I would really appreciate it, cause guess what, I do not wanna be the person who made the crappy Sunday even crappier. That would make me the devil or something! And you know readers, that's just not me.

Ok, so lets get to business. The first attempt of making that Sunday-frown turn upside down!



If it is still a frown I officially failed as a blogger. But I'm not giving up before Hugh and Laurie gave it a shot too.



One last shot. And this, readers, is a classic. Thus: You have to find it awesome.



I hope I have made your Sunday evening feel a bit less like a Sunday evening. And that you smiled at least once. Then I'm happy.If you did not, I've gotta try harder some other Sunday, and mark my words: Once I will rock your Sunday!

Have a nice evening, everyone :)

The Evolution of Smileys: The Golden Rule of the Mouths

Once upon a time, early in the history of internet, there were two smileys. One happy one, :-) , and one sad one :-(. Theoretically there were four, since well, they existed with and without noses, but lets say that the one without noses simply had a genetic error. Can you all imagine a life in which two simple smileys, and two handicapped versions of these simple smileys, were all you needed? 

Today I can not and will not count the amount of smileys out there, but I am guessing millions. People tap randomly on their keyboard, and voila, a new smiley. Happiness and sadness are not longer enough, now it's of course hornyness, depression, hunger, tiredness, ultra sad, and super happy, cat face, frog face, angry, and I could go on the whole night but I will not. Sometimes you really profit from my laziness, readers. Let me hear a hallelujah!

A problem that developed over the years is the overuse of smileys. When "xD" first appeared I know that I found it awesome, and used it... let's say 'quite often'. And of course you use it when something is funny, so, for some people, maybe very many, maybe way too many, the "xD" is almost a signature. They feel that the sentence is not complete without one. So what happened, ladies and gentlemen. The smiley is completely overused, the effect is not the same as it once was. When it first appeared, and someone used it, it implied that something was oh, so funny. "OMG that's so awesome I peed a little!" Now it's just used randomly. "I bought a bike yesterday xD." or " I'm going to eat xD". Unless you have a very twisted sense of humour, you did not find that mentionable funny, indeed I hope not funny at all, cause that would tell me that you as followers only read my blog because your, and therefore also my humour is... let's say less good. Back to the point: If "xD" is the smiley used to imply that something is funny, and this effect is dead, what then? Is the world going under? Nah, let's just give him big eyes! "XD" should do, no? Ok, so now the effect of the big eyes don't work either, what the fuck do we do now? The Golden Rule of the Mouths, readers. It's like an unwritten rule, that I will now do you all the favour of writing down. I know, I'm such a giver. "When the writer would like to express happiness, sadness or that (s)he is amused, and belonging smiley does not show the mood strong enough, the writer should add extra mouths on the smiley". For those of you being unaware of this rule, I will explain it to you in detail, using examples that might just as well occur in the real life.

Friend: My dog just died. 
You: :(

(dear readers, it's me, Trolldis. You can see here, that the ":(" simply ain't sad enough. Do you remember the Golden Rule of the Mouths? Let's try again)

Friend: My dog just died
You: :((((((

(pst, it's me again, readers. As you can see, the second example is hellofalot sadder, and in the smiley world this is not looking like very many chins, it does look like a damn sad sad face. Let's use another example)

Friend: My dildo just fell in my mother-in-laws head when she was opening the cabinet
You: xD

(small comment. As you can see, this is a situation where a simple "xD" simply is unfair for the humour of the situation. If you are as me, you will probably all lie on the floor twisting in laughter, and how does a "xD" show this? In no way, readers, it's a shame for the world of humour. Let's try again)

Friend: My dildo just fell in my mother-in-laws head when she was opening the cabinet
You: xDDDDDDDDDDD


As you see, the second examples, both given more mouths, serve the mood of the situation better. Imagine how insulted the friend will be if their dog died, and you don't even bother to make a damn sad smiley, just a sad one. Did you even consider that? You are a cold, cold person. Actually, why is a sad smiley called a smiley? I hereby rename it: Sadley. Where was I? Ah, right, conclusion. I hope very much that I have been solving alot of your problems within this blog post, and the next time you find something damn funny, or your friend's dog dies, you know what to do. The Golden Rule of the Mouths.

Next blog in these series: The Evolution of Smileys: The Inevitable Companion.
Publishing date: Unknown.
Starring: Smiley, Sadley and friends.

Good evening, all! :)

Did y'all watch "Once"?

Today I saw the best film in a very long time... ok, at least since I saw Black Swan. (which, by the way, you should all go watch at this instant, cause it's incredibly good, and I suppose it cannot be hidden that Natalie Portman is gorgeous?) Namely (no, I have not been living under a rock, nor in a bubble, and yes, I know that it's old) Once. It's kind of a musical, but kind of not, with lovely music, where the actors aren't really actors but musicians (but it doesn't make the film bad, on the contrary!), and the two main people don't even have a name in the film. And it's special, unique, and far from clichèish. Though at the end I wish it would be, cause.. Well, now I'm in a pickle. I have two options. The first is to tell everything about the film, and then if you'd be interested to watch it,  you wouldn't cause guess what, Trolldis spoiled it for you. Oor two, not tell anything about the film, you get bored, uninterested, and I could just as well have written all about it, but if I chose option two there are always some people that actually got interested from the little things I did indeed write, and.. Ok, I take the risk. Boring blog post, but you might thank me if you watch the film and I didn't spoil everything for you. Were was I? Oh yes. I wish it would be clichèish cause (censored). You know what, here's the trailer. Then you can't blame me for spoiling it, rather some guy on youtube.. I can live with that. Bitte schön:



Friendly tips, if you didn't watch it till now, then do! It's well worth 80 minutes of your life.

Ok, another subject (theoretically not, since I already mentioned it.) Black Swan, people! Awesome, awesome. Again, trailer, cause then ye can't blame me for spoilers. Oh, Youtube, I really do like you.



"Oh, so Trolldis finally pretends to care about her readers". I know what you're thinking, guys. But listen to this. Done with two exams, two! Defining Structuralism and interpreting "The Flea" by John Donne was parts of it. Plus general questions about Britain and about literature, definition of metre and rhyme, info about the English Sonnet. All ok, and I am (at the moment, temporarily) FREE! Free equals time for blogging, eating, sleeping, and other things that you will not have time to do when reading for exams. So no, readers, I did not forget you, Shakespeare and Roland Barthes were both unfortunately a bigger part of my life the last months. So I promise: I did not forget you. (I hope you didn't forget me either, would be totally sad).

Well, guys. Have a great evening. I can tell you that I will. Ah, lovely, lazy life, I've missed you!