Spread your legs for take 1

Like.. a year ago I wrote a blog-post about Programs that makes you want to attack the TV.  Basically shows the most stupid TV-concepts out there, in my head at least. However today there's something on telly that might just be worse than what I mentioned there. (Yes, I know you can't believe that, but hear me out!)

So, I do not find the English name of these series, (edit: found it: One Born Every Minute) but it is about women giving birth. You`ve gotta be preeetty horny for PR if you are willing to show your face whilst pressing out a baby on international television? Spread your legs, put on a face that shows true pain, let the water go, and let`s roll!

The day I will give birth to my first-born (who will be totally adorable, of course) I can assure you that nobody would be let in. Like, except from the doctor, and other people who belongs in the birthroom with me. The last people I would let in would be a full TV-team with cameramen, soundmen, etc, etc who the hell would want a microphone in the face when almost dying of pain? Not to speak of a camera between their legs?

I`m sure you feel at your best with the sweat dripping, the face read like a the-most-red-thing-you-can-think-of, I chose tomato. I just don`t get it, it`s gotta be other ways to get your attention? Try to make a GIGANTIC cake in your hometown and get in the local newspaper? Take up some sport nobody knows of, and that you`ll be best in in no-time, that ought to get you some attention as well. Hell, even attack your neighbour! But being so desperate that you willingly let someone film you when pressing out a lil monster? I don`t get it, I just don`t get it.

Another thing that bothers me, just a bit, is that you are sending this on telly, for all I know your name even comes up there (which I really don't hope for the sake of the people), what about paedophiles watching telly drooling over your new-born baby planning a disgusting rape? Hm?  

However, though. I have to admit I lied. I said it`d be worse than the series in the previous entry, but... the truth is.. nothing is worse than Paradise Hotel. And I am saying this with screams of pain and tomatofaced women in the background. That should prove a point!

I just love spoilers

Yesterday the finale of the German version of Idol, Deutschland sucht den Superstar, aired. And I was totally exited, of course. Somehow got a sucker for it in a way, so yes. Waited til it was online, and then I stremed it free on RTLs pages, and I loved it. It was in three parts, first I watch one part, theeen the other, and the third one, with the results and whatnot, I put it on not sniffing what`s around the next corner.

I`m putting a screenshot here, so you know what I talk about:

Oh, lookie. A banner with the winner on, spoiler MUCH?! And this banner, you put right under the stream of the finale, how stupid is it possible to be? I mean, people watching that clip obviously doesn`t know who won yet? Oh, RTL... Not your smartest move. And thank you for spoiling the big moment for me.. At least the right one won.*

* Mehrzad Marashi, search on youtube if interested :)

How I met your Mother

So lately I`ve really got addicted to this series called "How I met your mother".

Now, as my boyfriend repeatedly tried to make me watch the series with him, this is is what I replied. Some quotes.

"Come on, it`s childish and stupid."
"Never in my life, it`s for fourteenyearolds with crappy humour."
"Seriously, one of the actors from American Pie plays there, it`s gotta suck."
"A dad telling his kids how he met their mother? Please, how can that possibly be good?"

Now I have swallow every word I said there, every single one. And, as a creature with pride and dignity it`s not necessarily tasting that good, you know. My own words is definitely not on the list of my favourite dishes.

However one good thing did come out of this, the lovely series did. Now, it took me about one episode to love it, and two to get addicted. I just totally dig the characters, the humour, the everything really, and the story is cool (yes, it is cool, it might sound crappy.. but it`s cool. I promise)

So the year is 2030 and Ted is telling his son and daughter the story about how he met their mother. The story starts in 2005 (I think, or 04, or.. who cares) and we hear about his everyday, his adventures, his crazy, his relationships and his.. everything. We also get the stories of his good friends Barney, Lily, Marshall and Robin. All with their own, unique and very lovable personalities.

And his 2030-Ted is telling the story, so now and then you get his 2030 voice over it, which sometimes really gives it a very very funny touch. I wish it`d be easier to make the series seem great with a single blog-post, but guess it`s not. Guess you`ll just have to see it yourselves. You all see what I thought of the series when just hearing of it, so.

I`ve been looking for some funny clips to capture you all for a couple of minutes (lie, alot longer) and I couldn`t really find anything very great, however I felt I had to have something, so here you go, a trailer for the first season:




I hope that maybe somewhere deep inside you there is a small monster, or .. pff, whatever you`d prefer to be deep inside you, knight, something, that actually wants to watch the series cause actually somehow this thing inside you saw that even if I make it seem poopy, it`s not.

Give 'em 3 episodes and they`ve got you. If you still hate it I'll get you an ice-cream, or a banana, whatever you prefer.

 Tudelu ^^

Should we assume that Rudolphs poop is red?

This blog will be about my thoughts of the children-tv of today. I happened to see a program when waiting for the news, and it was not pleasant.

The intro-melody has lyrics like this.

juck, jucky-juck
jucky, jucky, juck
juck, jucky-juck,
jucky, jucky-juck

As you understand already, this show is doofy. After the intro a dude comes with a serving-plate.. This dude is a children-tv moderator, so you know.. overhyper and acting all stupid. So he is overenthusiastic, and the plate he's coming with has the riddle of the day inside. You cannot see it since it's covered with some kind of top on it, but this is unimportant. What's important is what this show is about...

He takes off the top, and what is on the plate? A pile of shit. Not shit in a transferred meaning, but really. Shit. Poop. Exrement, right there on the plate. To be quite honest you kind of doubt what kind of dude this is when he can be SO enthusiastic over a pile of shit, but ok. He asks "Sooo, does anyone know whos shit this is? Hm? Anyone out there?". It pains my soul to think about all the children sitting in their houses watching this screaming out "DOOG!", "SHEEEEP!", "COOOW!", or whichever animal or creature they think took a shit this time.

Mr Hyper Moderator tries to create exitement over the moment where he reveals the great secret behind the pile of shit. Who in the whole wide world might have sat on the plate and released a big, brown and smelly pile of excrement. Or.. I guess we can assume that the moderator hand-plucked it when you see his enthusiasm. Anyway, yes.. the exitement. Shows kids that "yes, sure! it's completely natural to be exited when you see a poop. Overexited, yes, come on! LET'S ALL BE HYPER!"

Let's all be realistic here and see what this does to children. A child that is interested in.. not sports, not music, not games, farms, cars, whatever, no - A child that goes totally banana crazy when he/she sees a pile of poop? And gets hyyper, exited, happy, and.. yes, a pile of shit makes their day. Yep, that is building up intelligence from a small age already. "Mummy! Look! POOOOOOOP!".

I can say right now, that if this continues I won't even LET my child watch this shit. Oh yes, it's gonna watch "Who wants to be a millionare", and when my small angel is old enough, he'll be very smart and win the whole shit - and with this being able to buy his mummy and daddy a very nice car. (of course, by this time the main price in the show is millions and millions higher, and I will get a nice sum myself out of not having let my child watch shit-shows. And yes - I will rub it in the faces of all the parents who has senile kids that knows nothing more than which animal dropped which shit. I will enjoy it too).

Back to the show: When the ass behind the poop is revealed, the moderator dresses up like the animal, and runs around like a reindeer with AD/HD (since the animal of the day was a reindeer). What a great example for children, I feel the headache coming when thinking of this doofy dude.

I wonder... When on earth would a child need to know how reindeer-poop looks? Maybe it's nice to know around christmas, perhaps you can identify Rudolphs poop and then find out approximately when Santa will come. Should we assume that Rudolphs poop is red like his nose? Ask the followers of the poop-show. I have a life, I wouldnt' know.

"This video has been removed due to infringement"

Not a sentence you usually like, however, this time it made me giggle. This is why:

Infringement! HOHO!

I know, my humor might suck much. But doesn't matter :D 

PS: Watch Fringe, it is exiting :)

Programs that makes you want to attack the TV

In the following blog-post I would like to share my thoughts about four tv-concepts that suck so much that it hurts sometimes. That sucks so much, that everytime it goes I wanna smash the tv with a stone. That sucks SO much that I find it worth blogging about. Take my advice! Stay away!

1) Farmer Wants a Wife:

Seriously. The bachelor is bad enough, and how can a already bad concept get any better if you add some farmers and a cow or ten?

Dates happening in farms and on mountains, milking cows together, slaughter pigs together, go on romantic tractor-rides around fields filled with cowshit - so, a bachelor program that's not even romantic?! .. Sigh..

You can look at it as a version from The Bachelor from the lower class - so The Bachelor without boobwoman and disgusting snobby men, but with udders and farmers with their pants high underneath their arms. It's simply not what one wants to use evenings to - at least I hope..

Quotes:
* Moooh

2) Paradise Hotel:

"Ok, let's collect the blondest fake-boobed women on one place, and men with an iq just as big as a klump of silicone. Let's see how fast this woman fucks that woman, that dude right there fucks him, and how fast mr Snob there jump ms Bimbo. THEN we see who argues most, who talks most shit behind everyone elses back, and who lies most, who creates most intrigues.. - oh, congratulations, you won!"

.. enough said.


3) My Super Sweet 16:

In this show we meet 16 year olds from USA with shitrich parents, and thus they get a 16th birthday worth millions and millions of dollars - limo to the party, dresses for many hundred thousand, diamonds, big artists rented in to play at their birthdays, etc.

Spoiled like shit, and they are teasing others like noone else. Great that teenagers watch this, and dream about a 16th birthday just like these spoiled brats gets. Surely it makes many pubertygirls relatively depressed, and give them hopes that never, NEVER can come true - well, unless you live in the US with an american mum with a wallet fatter then herself. What does this lead to? A world with shitloads of spoiled puberty-bimbos. Oh man, what is the world coming to?

Quotes:
* If I don't get a car for my birthday, it shows that my parents doesn't really love me.
* Peope are normally jealous of me because I'm pretty.

4) Paris Hiltons New BBF:

Well, I suppose I don't need to say more than "Paris Hilton" before people realize that this indeed is a very bad concept.

This show is about an unknown amount of bimbos who in this "great series" fight to be "Paris' best friend" with going through different "challenges" and lick massively much ass. That's basically what this whole thing is about - being the slave of our dear ms Hilton.

Ah, well, I could mention more here, but the problem is that the word asslicking sort of stands in huge letters all over the series. Asslicking, and asslicking only.

But of course, if you are looking for a tv-show with 15 breadheads who lick ass and act like dutiful dogs for their boss-breadhead, this is the series for you.

Quotes:
* Friends have to believe in each others taste, are you really a good friend if you don't want to go bald for me?

Well! I hope my good advices keeps you away from the telly when just these dreadful programs is all over the screen. At least I did mine to contribute to a better world.

PS: This blog was translated from Norwegian to English, thus the comments from before the published date.