Sometimes one cannot act proffesional at work. Especially not when getting visits from clingy, noisy, annoying beasts that believes they own the place.
Therefore something drastical needs to be done, someone just won't give up, they go on, and on, and on, and on. This is the times when you run around in the office, running after them, yelling "STIIIRB!", or "DIEE!" hitting around you like some kind of crazy person, trying to get them down for good. However annoying French tourists might be*, those are not the ones I am talking about. Nay, it is the flies. Holy mother of God, how annoying is it possible to become? Never can I get peace, they just HAVE to fly around, sit on me, walk on me, try to fly in different body openings (with that I mean ears and mouth, nothing else, ugh). And it seems there is no end to it. Why can't any of my murderattempts go right, for once, ONCE?! (Christmas-wish: An electrical fly killer). Bastards :(
From flies to a *fun fact: Expedia had a research. 4500 hotels worldwide ranged tourists after nations, who's the best tourists, who's the worst tourists. Who's most polite? Who's rude? Who's greedy? Best one's number one, 27 is the worst. This is the result(not writing all, lazy):
1: Japanese
2: British
3: Canadians
4: Germans
5: Swiss
6: Dutch
6: Australians
8: Swedish
8: Americans
10: Danes
10: Norwegians
10: Finnish
10: Belgians
.......... (blabla, many inbetween)
27: French
French is the last. Very last. Noone after. Not one. There yeh go, Frenchmen, take the hint, learn some English. Not every man in the world knows French!
In my opinion I will say that I agree with the results. My profession (eheh) requires that I communicate with tourists all the time, and I mean that I have what it takes to have a (highly professional, ehehe) view on this. So here it goes :
I wouldn't put this up very much differently than what this research shows. I would place the british people on top though, even though Japanese people, or asian people in general (I can't see who is Chinese, who is Korean and who comes from Japan, but all are cosy) also deserves a top placement, they are so greatful always! But the Frenchmen should stay where they are, they are so good placed that it's funny. (I'm not dissing Frenchmen even though it sounds like it, I'm sure they are nice people - but maybe they are a bit too nationalistic?). And ok, I did have some nice French tourists too. I'm not judging everyone!
I think the fly escaped, so I'm starting to wonder whether flies can read. Maybe they understand that their destiny will lead them straight to hell when annoying the Trolldis? Maybe their logics tells them that the next time I attempt to murder them it will go good?... tsh, who am I kidding? Flies are dumb - maybe it just crashed in the window and killed itself. Let's hope that ^^
Showing posts with label trolldis and tourists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trolldis and tourists. Show all posts
Saturday, 11 July 2009
Friday, 10 July 2009
Trolldis and Tourists: What makes the day...
Work, 5 hours, nothing to do, deadly boring. What do yeh do? Here are the vital ingredients to turn the work-frown upside-down. (at least my work-frown)
* Tea (Preferrably Green Tea and Lemon, YUM)
* Cookies
* German grammar tasks
* German crosswords
* Ice Age tetris (try to beat my highscore on 50 000, I bet you can't!)
* Nintendo DS with Mario inside
* A bunch of british people (they are so lovable, wuh)
Here's the factors that turn the frown.. well.. worse?
* Frenchmen who assumes that everyone speaks french, and gets angry when you can't.
* Questions about God-knows where, God-knows what. (that even God himself could not answer)
* Tourists who doesn't lock when they were at the loo
* Tourists who sneak into the toilet cause it is unlocked cause of the bums before them
* Everything that includes toilet, and excludes payment.
* Tourists that steals expensive maps
* Old, pervy men who tells pervy jokes, tries to make you learn an important lesson about sex, and just won't LEAVE. (and that, when learns to know you better also gives kisses, uhgrhhh) (1)
Anyone into making Trolldis happy? Do NOT sneak into the toilet without paying, don't, don't. I seriously wanna do something drastical next time. Open the door when they just sat down and throw waterballoons on them? .. hm.. I have to consider that strongly
(1) - Luckily I myself never encountered this dude, all credits to Eva and Marianne for not escaping when he comes
Anyone into making Trolldis happy? Do NOT sneak into the toilet without paying, don't, don't. I seriously wanna do something drastical next time. Open the door when they just sat down and throw waterballoons on them? .. hm.. I have to consider that strongly
(1) - Luckily I myself never encountered this dude, all credits to Eva and Marianne for not escaping when he comes
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Trolldis and Tourists: INVASION!
I believe that I was a victim of touristinvasion yesterday. Let's see if dictionary.com agrees with the definition.
in-va-sion /ɪnˈveɪʒən/ [in-vey-zhuhn]
–noun
1. an act or instance of invading or entering as an enemy, esp. by an army.
2. the entrance or advent of anything troublesome or harmful, as disease.
3. entrance as if to take possession or overrun: the annual invasion of the resort by tourists.
4. infringement by intrusion.
Yes, your eyes are reading correct - even the word definition contains the word "tourists". I no longer hesitate over the definition to put over what happened to me. It was an invasion - I did indeed get invaded - the small, calm and silent office I work in suddenly turned into a battlefield! Maybe they are even playing with me, or maybe they look at this office as a great way to carry out some weird project - get answers to some questions they always wanter answers to; type "how many manly, half chubby 30 year old German tourists can fit in a tiny ass tourist office in a deserted place in western Norway?" or perhaps "How many Dutchmen does it take to turn a Norwegian touristinformationlady crazy?". I should have realized it before; it has to be one reason why this place drags tourists!
So here's the deal. Yesterday from 09.00-14.00. As good as noone (= a small number, 5-6, not important). From 14.20-19.00. Almost as good as noone (=still a small number, more than 5-6, still not important). As the clock strikes 14.00, though, I slowly see big groups of tourists coming towards the office. They are sneaking in from different directions, all aiming in for the very same door.
Now, the number that came in probably does not sound much for.. well, anyone. But this office is not big, and neither is the town...nor my ability to talk to 10 people (or more) at the same time. I can promise you that it is not easy to try to give directions to a German (in German, a challenge in itself), reccomend a trip for a Dutchman, tell a Swede where she can eat trout, and order a hotel for a British dude at the very same time - and next to that trying to stop some tourists of an unknown species from picking up everything that is NOT free in the office and bring it home to their unknown territory. (Characteristics for this rare species: anatomy is equal to human, clothing not - but their ability to put on clothes takes them from the monkeyworld to the humanworld. They are protective over their haul, and their battlecry is "Gratis, gratis!". Often seen with big backpacks on their back, and usually their face holds a shade of red. They often operate in groups, you rarely see them alone.). It is extremely stressfull, like in.. very extremely. Believe me!
At least it wasn't a single tourist so far today, and my workday is 5 hours opposed to 10. If there should be an invasion at 14.00 again, then it's not on my shift, wuhuu! Please send all the warm thoughts you have to Eva, though. She must be strong to manage this.
Damn, done with the blog. Guess I have to go back to the boredom that is work. Hm, I hope the DS aint empty for batteries.
Todays half random PS, but half not:
Can someone please come here and kill the damn fly that's partly killing me cause it is so damn annoying?Rather touristinvasion then having this one fly in my ears, in my food, in my feet, on the pc screen, in the lamp and in the window. It's sounds are so annoying, it sounds like a damn harvester - like really. Can you tell me what use a flying harvester that doesn't do anything but being annoying and walking in cowshit has? I don't see any. Kill it, kill iiiitt!
By the way, this bastard, he's so damn sly! The only times I do not hear his sounds is when he's sneaking into my bag of food. Of course I remove him, and oooon he goes. Like a harvester. GRHML.
GOODbye now, foor good. Really! Have a lovely day!
in-va-sion /ɪnˈveɪʒən/ [in-vey-zhuhn]
–noun
1. an act or instance of invading or entering as an enemy, esp. by an army.
2. the entrance or advent of anything troublesome or harmful, as disease.
3. entrance as if to take possession or overrun: the annual invasion of the resort by tourists.
4. infringement by intrusion.
Yes, your eyes are reading correct - even the word definition contains the word "tourists". I no longer hesitate over the definition to put over what happened to me. It was an invasion - I did indeed get invaded - the small, calm and silent office I work in suddenly turned into a battlefield! Maybe they are even playing with me, or maybe they look at this office as a great way to carry out some weird project - get answers to some questions they always wanter answers to; type "how many manly, half chubby 30 year old German tourists can fit in a tiny ass tourist office in a deserted place in western Norway?" or perhaps "How many Dutchmen does it take to turn a Norwegian touristinformationlady crazy?". I should have realized it before; it has to be one reason why this place drags tourists!
So here's the deal. Yesterday from 09.00-14.00. As good as noone (= a small number, 5-6, not important). From 14.20-19.00. Almost as good as noone (=still a small number, more than 5-6, still not important). As the clock strikes 14.00, though, I slowly see big groups of tourists coming towards the office. They are sneaking in from different directions, all aiming in for the very same door.
Now, the number that came in probably does not sound much for.. well, anyone. But this office is not big, and neither is the town...nor my ability to talk to 10 people (or more) at the same time. I can promise you that it is not easy to try to give directions to a German (in German, a challenge in itself), reccomend a trip for a Dutchman, tell a Swede where she can eat trout, and order a hotel for a British dude at the very same time - and next to that trying to stop some tourists of an unknown species from picking up everything that is NOT free in the office and bring it home to their unknown territory. (Characteristics for this rare species: anatomy is equal to human, clothing not - but their ability to put on clothes takes them from the monkeyworld to the humanworld. They are protective over their haul, and their battlecry is "Gratis, gratis!". Often seen with big backpacks on their back, and usually their face holds a shade of red. They often operate in groups, you rarely see them alone.). It is extremely stressfull, like in.. very extremely. Believe me!
At least it wasn't a single tourist so far today, and my workday is 5 hours opposed to 10. If there should be an invasion at 14.00 again, then it's not on my shift, wuhuu! Please send all the warm thoughts you have to Eva, though. She must be strong to manage this.
Damn, done with the blog. Guess I have to go back to the boredom that is work. Hm, I hope the DS aint empty for batteries.
Todays half random PS, but half not:
Can someone please come here and kill the damn fly that's partly killing me cause it is so damn annoying?Rather touristinvasion then having this one fly in my ears, in my food, in my feet, on the pc screen, in the lamp and in the window. It's sounds are so annoying, it sounds like a damn harvester - like really. Can you tell me what use a flying harvester that doesn't do anything but being annoying and walking in cowshit has? I don't see any. Kill it, kill iiiitt!
By the way, this bastard, he's so damn sly! The only times I do not hear his sounds is when he's sneaking into my bag of food. Of course I remove him, and oooon he goes. Like a harvester. GRHML.
GOODbye now, foor good. Really! Have a lovely day!
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Trolldis and Tourists: 2 hours down, 8 to go
So I started my new work, at the local touristinformation. I'm not actually living in a huge city, so you can imagine it gets kind of dead at times. With "at times" I mean 90% of the time, minimum. Maybe 95%.. Ok, let's say 99%.
So far I was taught up in the work, that took five hours, and I had a 3 hour shift. Out from that I'm supposing that the 10 hour shift I'm now in will look something like this.
09.00 -> Coming to work
10.00 -> Writing a blog
11.00 -> Posting a blog
11.20 -> The first tourist
11.22 -> The first tourist leaves
11.30 -> Wuhu! iPod gaming!
12.00 -> iPod is running empty on battery
12.02 -> No more iPod gaming available.
12.04 -> Wuhu! Magazines!
13.00 -> Soon running out of magazines
13.02 -> Nothing more to read.
14.00 -> The second tourist
14.02 -> The second tourist leaves
14.30 -> Trolldis is not far from dying of boredom
15.00 -> Even closer to dying of boredom
15.02 -> Start sms-spamming people
15.20 -> Dead battery on cellphone
15.21 -> Trolldis starts counting cars
15.59 -> The 10th car passes. It's a tourist.
16.00 -> Third tourist
16.01 -> Third tourist leaves
16.02 -> Trolldis watches clock in desperation
16.03 -> Trolldis wishes the clock went faster
16.03 -> "IT MUST HAVE GONE TEN MINUTES ALREADY?!"
16.05 -> Trolldis covers the clock with postits
16.15 -> Fourth tourist
16.19 -> Fourth tourist leaves
16.20 -> "WHAT DESTINY IS THIS!?"
16.21 -> "Whee? I brought the Nintendo DS?!"
16.30 -> Trolldis beats her boyfriends highscores
17.30 -> Trolldis' boyfriend no longer hold any highscores
18.30 -> Trolldis rawks in tha Super Mario world
18.45 -> Game is fulfilled
18.59 -> Trolldis smells freedom.
19.00 -> FREEDOM!
Exaggerating a little? Just a tiny bit? Might be - but work is (coxie style) bo-ho-ho-ho-hooo-ring.
Luckily I get entertainment sometimes with some weird tourists. This lil' story/dialogue/whatever is about an interesting Finn with one and a half arm dressed in something that looks like bavarian lederhosen. He was one of the dudes who spiced up my first day at work.
Here is the convo.
Me: Hello, may I help you?
Him: Nice t-shirt! Nightwish, I'm from Finland myself!
Me: Oh, cool.
Him: Yes.. I want to know what I can do around here.
Me: Hum, we always have glacierwalks.
Him: Yes?
Me: Yes, on a glacier nearby, it is very popular among tourists, and everyone we sent up there had a great deal of fun.
Him: Yes?
Me: Yes.. Is this interesting for you?
Him: Nje, I don't have that much time. Do you have something else? Churches?
Me: Yes, there are three churches nearby, there's Helgheim, approximatley 5 minutes from here, there's Ålhus approximatley 15 minutes from here, and there's Vassenden around.. 25 minutes from here.
Him: Yeah, nevermind about that. You need to give me something to write on.
Me: Øh, yeah, sure
I hand the Finn an a4 paper..
Him: *Talking unclearly* (I hear the word 'size')
I thought it was to small, so I handed him a second paper..
Him: Noo, something smaller.
I give him a post-it.
The Finn writes down multiple links.
Him: These links you have to visit. It is totally free, free yoga.
Me: Aha?
Him: Yes, it is really good sites.
The Finn starts taking lots tape from the tape dispenser, hanging it on his arm. The half one.
Him: I'm just going to go hang up some posters now.
Me: Eh, ok?
Him: Bye!
The Finn leaves
Me: Bye!
I guess I don't need any further comments to this, I dare to say that the dialogue speaks for itself.
In my long lasting and very serious (hemhem) career as a touristinformationofficeworker (damn, wish I could stick another word in there too) I have learnt this about myself:
I hate taking payment for letting people use the loo. HATE, like in intensely. Maybe I hate it more than snobs and aspargus?
Well, I better get back to work (fun that writing this blog is the most productive thing I've done the whole time I've worked here, pahahaha)
EDIT:
Very fun fact. At least least it's a bit fun... But I find it very fun.. But then I'm me, and you're you, and my humor might not actually match your humor, at least not perfectly.. Whatever, it doesn't really matter, here's the at-least-a-bit-fun fact:
The first tourist came exactly at 11.20 and left exactly at 11.22. Check my previous timetable. HAH. It is cool, you cannot argue! :D
So far I was taught up in the work, that took five hours, and I had a 3 hour shift. Out from that I'm supposing that the 10 hour shift I'm now in will look something like this.
09.00 -> Coming to work
10.00 -> Writing a blog
11.00 -> Posting a blog
11.20 -> The first tourist
11.22 -> The first tourist leaves
11.30 -> Wuhu! iPod gaming!
12.00 -> iPod is running empty on battery
12.02 -> No more iPod gaming available.
12.04 -> Wuhu! Magazines!
13.00 -> Soon running out of magazines
13.02 -> Nothing more to read.
14.00 -> The second tourist
14.02 -> The second tourist leaves
14.30 -> Trolldis is not far from dying of boredom
15.00 -> Even closer to dying of boredom
15.02 -> Start sms-spamming people
15.20 -> Dead battery on cellphone
15.21 -> Trolldis starts counting cars
15.59 -> The 10th car passes. It's a tourist.
16.00 -> Third tourist
16.01 -> Third tourist leaves
16.02 -> Trolldis watches clock in desperation
16.03 -> Trolldis wishes the clock went faster
16.03 -> "IT MUST HAVE GONE TEN MINUTES ALREADY?!"
16.05 -> Trolldis covers the clock with postits
16.15 -> Fourth tourist
16.19 -> Fourth tourist leaves
16.20 -> "WHAT DESTINY IS THIS!?"
16.21 -> "Whee? I brought the Nintendo DS?!"
16.30 -> Trolldis beats her boyfriends highscores
17.30 -> Trolldis' boyfriend no longer hold any highscores
18.30 -> Trolldis rawks in tha Super Mario world
18.45 -> Game is fulfilled
18.59 -> Trolldis smells freedom.
19.00 -> FREEDOM!
Exaggerating a little? Just a tiny bit? Might be - but work is (coxie style) bo-ho-ho-ho-hooo-ring.
Luckily I get entertainment sometimes with some weird tourists. This lil' story/dialogue/whatever is about an interesting Finn with one and a half arm dressed in something that looks like bavarian lederhosen. He was one of the dudes who spiced up my first day at work.
Here is the convo.
Me: Hello, may I help you?
Him: Nice t-shirt! Nightwish, I'm from Finland myself!
Me: Oh, cool.
Him: Yes.. I want to know what I can do around here.
Me: Hum, we always have glacierwalks.
Him: Yes?
Me: Yes, on a glacier nearby, it is very popular among tourists, and everyone we sent up there had a great deal of fun.
Him: Yes?
Me: Yes.. Is this interesting for you?
Him: Nje, I don't have that much time. Do you have something else? Churches?
Me: Yes, there are three churches nearby, there's Helgheim, approximatley 5 minutes from here, there's Ålhus approximatley 15 minutes from here, and there's Vassenden around.. 25 minutes from here.
Him: Yeah, nevermind about that. You need to give me something to write on.
Me: Øh, yeah, sure
I hand the Finn an a4 paper..
Him: *Talking unclearly* (I hear the word 'size')
I thought it was to small, so I handed him a second paper..
Him: Noo, something smaller.
I give him a post-it.
The Finn writes down multiple links.
Him: These links you have to visit. It is totally free, free yoga.
Me: Aha?
Him: Yes, it is really good sites.
The Finn starts taking lots tape from the tape dispenser, hanging it on his arm. The half one.
Him: I'm just going to go hang up some posters now.
Me: Eh, ok?
Him: Bye!
The Finn leaves
Me: Bye!
I guess I don't need any further comments to this, I dare to say that the dialogue speaks for itself.
In my long lasting and very serious (hemhem) career as a touristinformationofficeworker (damn, wish I could stick another word in there too) I have learnt this about myself:
I hate taking payment for letting people use the loo. HATE, like in intensely. Maybe I hate it more than snobs and aspargus?
Well, I better get back to work (fun that writing this blog is the most productive thing I've done the whole time I've worked here, pahahaha)
EDIT:
Very fun fact. At least least it's a bit fun... But I find it very fun.. But then I'm me, and you're you, and my humor might not actually match your humor, at least not perfectly.. Whatever, it doesn't really matter, here's the at-least-a-bit-fun fact:
The first tourist came exactly at 11.20 and left exactly at 11.22. Check my previous timetable. HAH. It is cool, you cannot argue! :D
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