The cutest commercial ever?

I would say yes.

Our style up north..

When we`re unhappy with the press crossing every line of privacy, we send our pets on them:



I probably watched this a hundred times now, and I laugh louder every single time.

Stolen/borrowed/pick your favourite from Inishmore.

The Ugliest Dog in Norway

A competition has been running in VG, a Norwegian newspaper, where readers sends in pictures of dogs they find ugly, and the jury and readers decide which should get the glorious title of "The Ugliest Dog in Norway".

This dog won:

The one and ugly thing I can find in this whole situation, is to hold a contest like that. Mabye I should host a "Norways ugliest person" contest and see how popular that is. Or the "ugliest journalist in Norway", "ugliest soul in Norway?". "Ugliest newspaper", congrats to VG, must be such an honour.

Look in the eyes of the dog and tell me it's ugly, please do.

Now, a big applaud to the people with so tragic life that they host such a contest. AND a bigger one til the owners of the dogs that they themselves look at as so ugly that they should be given the title "the ugliest dog in Norway.". Now, if the owner of this dog really find it so repulsive I'll take it. I usually prefer dogs with hair, but doesn't really matter!

I'll be back later with my "ugliest person in Norway" competition. Actually I won't, see, I have a life.

Tnaw.

No comment needed.

Someone left this to die..

This chiuaua was born without it's front legs, so someone left it to die. Look at this video:



Would you have the heart to just leave this adorable dog to die? If noone adopts that, I will. What a heartbreaker!

CSI: Dogs&Cats..& Rabbits.

October 26th, 2009.

13:37 

Body found in Stokmarknes.The victim is a rabbit, 30 cms long, average bodyweight. It is probably around 1-2 years old. Eyes are blue. The victim has several colors, grey, orange and white.

Bitemarks can be found all over the victims body, it's ears are almost ripped off, the nose is hanging in nothing but a thin thread, and you can still see panic in its eyes. The victim is still warm, it's been dead for less than one hour.

14:02

The bitemarks that can be found all over the victims body says that the killer is korean, chinese or japanese. The bitemarks also shows that it is no human who killed this victim. Circle two and three shows hairs that were found on the victim, that doesn't belong to the victim itself. The hairs found on the crime scene are white, and dna shows that it's a dog or cat who did this crime.

It is clear that the victim has been tortured.

14:25

Cause of death is probably a stroke as the murderer made it go through hours and hours of pain. Through it's dental records we've been able to locate its family, unfortunatly they are all six feet under. Victim has been identified as Eddy Bunny.

14:50

A very important tips is sent in, cameras has captured the murderer, in the act! The murderer is a Japanese Spitz, age 1 year. After an interview we're certain that the murder is commited due to strong jealousy. The case is hereby solved and closed.

 

Cleaning is fun!

Lately I've been in a place where I find cleaning, then especially vacuuming, entertaining. Not cause I get a kick out of hearing the shit getting sucked in, and knowing it never comes back. Not because I like the vibrations of the vaccumcleaner when holding in it. Not because I'm of the type that likes cleaning, I mean.. Jesus. No, it's simply because our lil' Japanese spitz, Hope, makes the cleaning more than cleaning.

Not one second does she let the vacuumbeast out of sight, she's so damn curious it's cute. She follows it with her eyes, goes closer and closer..she sneaks in from the sides, from the back, doing whatever to get to as close as possible to the thing.. That is, as soon as the Vacuum-head-thingie (what the heck is it called) doesn't point towards her.. then she runs as fast as she can, and as far away as possible. When you she the lil' white dot runnig away in that speed, you'd suppose her to be away for forever, but na. Doesn't even take 20 seconds before she starts sneaking towards the beast again. Sneaking, sneaking, sneaking, until... OMG, it's pointing towards me again, RUUUUUN! If dogs could talk, or if you could read dogs minds.. that would be exactly what you got out of it. (of course, now we have to imagine then that dogs would know the meaning of OMG). Lets imagine we're inside the dogs head:

Hm, it's pointing somewhere else, now I wanna go there and bite abit on it, maybe it tastes like cheese. Ah, I like cheese. But not as much as I like sausage, God, I love sausage. Hm.. maybe my owner has a sausage, damn then want one, gimmegimme. Oh, wait, no, yes, no.. yes.. Damn Hope, concentrate! That sure looks like a long sausage! MMM, sausage. Maybe if I sneak very carefully it won't hear me, and the lunch today gets better than that boring, dry dog-food. Yes, probably.. Caareful, careful, getting closer, aaalmost there. WAH, the huge, noisy sausage wants to kill me, RUUUUUUUN!

Ok, so I am where I started. Who cares, Hope? The sausage calls! Maybe if I walk extra careful this time, like, very much extra. It won't notice me then. And then I get my teeth in that juicy, delicate sausage. Hm, I wonder why my owner goes around carrying it without giving it to me. I've been a good dog, haven't I? Maybe if I sit.... HELLO, owner, look at me, I'm a good dog, I'm sitting, I'm deserving sausage!.. ah, how great, all that effort, and she's not even noticing me. No chanse in hell I'm doing anything else unless I get something for it. I guess I need to take this in my own paws, God. When did I ever have to do something for the food around here? I really need to let this owner of mine know this! She spoiled me, so GIVE ME THE DAMN SAUSAGE.


Huh, where's she going? Where's the sausage going? I'm not done with you yet! I guess I should just follow, the sausage aint that noisy anymore. Maybe it got tired and sleeping. Where.. where did it go? Hello? Wuff, wuff, I don't like this. Wuff, wuff. Wonder why my owner is angry at me? Wuff, wuff, wuu.... What did I do now? Grh.. what kind of life do I have? I'm such a miserable dog..

[two seconds later]


*sniff, sniff*, *sniff, sniff*. YES! Some dirty underwear. Wuff, life is goooood!


Let's now stop imagining we're in the head of the dog. As an end to the blogpost: Here's the small heartbreaker.

I got abit carried away and this blog ended up mostly imagining we're in the head of Hope. Doesn't really matter that much, I trust you get an idea about how cleaning is with this small white dot wandering around. :)

You wouldn't believe the night I had!

There is about three factors that makes your night a living hell.

1) A dog who would rather be somewhere else than in your room.
2) People going to the toilet
3) People running back and forth at 5-6 in the morning.

Please note that these factors have to be combined to make the night a living hell, well.. maybe alternative 1 could work perfectly without the other two, but anyway.

So, I go to bed at 00.00, I was asked to bring the dog. Sure, I thought, why not? A cute lil' creature that can lie there and warm my cold toesies, won't say no to that! So I grab the heartbreaker, carry her into my room, and make a nice corner in my bed for her. But na, she jumps down from the bed, goes to the door, and starts her "buhu, it's so miserable here, let me out" sounds. I chose to ignore her, until she comes jumping up in the bed licking my hands. I ask her "you wanna come up, Hope?", and rise up to lift her up in the bed. But the second I raise up, she walks to the door, like she tries to show me "let me oout, let me oooout!". I lie down again and two seconds later, she's back. I thought that maybe this time she wants to come up, so I rise up again. Guess what happened? Yes, door. I sigh, and lie down again. Two minutes later I hear the tiny dog-feet tripping towards me again, I chose not to rise up, I mean.. what, am I stupid? I lie like I did, but open my eyes, before I know it she suddely sticks her head up right next to me, leaning it abit to the side, givin me nothing but the puppydog-look. And, annoying or not, she is a heartbreaker. So I figured, damn, now she wants to come up! I rise up, reach out my hands... and right before I got my hands in her.. yes, you're right, she's trippin' towards the door. At this point you all must be thinking "damnit! this girl must be stupid", but for my defence.. who could resist the puppydogeyes of this ceature, tell me!

At a certain point she sits right under my bed, and I use the situation to try to calm her down with stroking her, and.. yes, it worked. She was silent for.. perhaps five minutes, until... she suddenly rised up and walked to the door. But! This time she didn't make that much sounds, to my big surprise. So I can actually lie down, in silence, and slowly, slowly I notice that I might actually get some sleep tonight. Note that this is probably 1-2 hours after I actually planned to sleep. So at this point the clock is.. Well, let's say 01.30. Trolldis lies there with a small smile on her mouth, on her way into sleepyland...

Sleepyland was further away than I thought, my soon-to-come sweet dreams got ruined, yes, directly ruined, killed, by someone who just had to go to the toilet in the midle of friggin night. My dear brother, couldn't you have gone before you went to bed? Or should I assume that you "didn't have to go then"? Hmpf, you're just like a kid. I'm gonna blame you for this, after all you're not the one with puppydogeyes in the situation!

Well, half an hour later the dog is relatively calm, and the sandman once again tries to reach out and make me trip around on the big pink cloud that I like to call dreamland. And Sandman, thank you for this. Trolldis gets her good night sleep for.. 3-4 hours, before people already start wandering around, making noise. No chance to get any peace - when the dog finds a hope for escape, then she follows the hope til it dies, or til it works out for her. In this situation it worked out for her, some saviour sent from God (or more like, one of my siblings) came to the door, opening it, taking Hope away, giving me some sleep. And the thought of sleeping long really, really gave me pleasure. So there was a smile around my mouth as I was finally, finally gonna get to sleep more than 1 hour or 2.

Wake up! Time to change your sleepingpatterns! The clock isn't even showing eight, when my mum finds out that today is the day, today is the day. Today is the day for change. No longer sleeping to 12, Trolldis. Embrace the day, embrace the morning.

Today, mum?! I didn't sleep less a single night the whole year, and that includes nights where I'm hangovered, on festivals, on parties. Yes. Could the timing possibly be worse? I believe not. Well, let's look on the positive side, should we? I have embraced the day! The whole day, not only the part from 12.00 and out.

Ah, yes, by the way? Guess who's sleeping now? Hope. After this situation, though, I changed her name to Hopeless. If there's one thing I like about her is that her name can easily be changed when she is indeed.. Hopeless.

Have a great day, everyone, and be sure to embrace it as I did.

I WANT ONE!

When you can sleep as loooong as you want..

.. and wake up at 8, you can get rather grumpy. But what is there to do when a white, bushy minimonster named 'Hope' wakes you up is licking your ears, your toes, your fingers, and walks in your face? At a certain point in those events kindof wakes you up, and when it's jumping on you wanting to play - there is no chance anymore.

So if you ever see this lil creature, and if you would like to sleep.. Then lock your doors! But.. doors locked or not - I'm certain that Hope manages to sneak into your heart anyway. You'll love her EVEN though she wakes you up - I can confirm that.

Plenty of reasons to love Germany, Part 3

Continuing on my 'reasons to love Germany'. Here's part one and part two

7) WACKEN!

.. and Summer Breeze, and various other big open-air festivals. A metalheads idea of paradise. Especially Wacken. God, 3 days of beer, metal and.. drunk metalheads?

Of constant metal, constant party. Man do I look forward to the festival-season again, and I swear I will be in Germany during it. What's Norwegian festivals compared to this? Lice. Hell of expensive lice too. Gosh, gotta love Wacken.

8) Schnauzer

The Schnauzer - my all time favourite dog-breed is German. Look at the adorable creature on your right now. That used to be my dear Alexi. Had to give him up, unfortunatly. Miss him deeply.

I don't actually know what more to write about that. They are adorable, both how they look and their personality... aaand where they are from. Reason enough to mention it here. Schnauzers are lovely! Ye... next!


9) Maggi Fix/Knorr Fix

Cause it's easy, cheap, and cause it has a good taste. Ah, the thought about the taste of Gebratene Nudeln almost makes me drool.


Nice thing is that they have about everything, Chili Con Carne, Spaghetti Bolognese, Chicken-soup. Roulade... It's not like we don't have any of this in Norway, but they have it SO much more there. HUGE shelves in the stores containing nothing but these Fix bags. And I like it, I dig it. It's one of the things I always bring home to Norway after a Germany trip.. Maaaany Fix bags.

What is WRONG with people?!

Warning: Contains strong images. At least for dog lovers...



Some 12-year old British girl did this. How fucking cold hearted can you be? Poor dog. Can't defend itself or nothing. I hope this girl gets attacked by a horde of wasps. Or fall down the stairs. It is her who deserves to get her ass kicked :( And a 12 year old.. Something gotta be pretty wrong in that home..

Read more about it here. (And yes, I know it's old news. But it's still horrible)

5 things the world would be better without

1) Wasps.

Why are they even here? All they inflict upon me is pain, anger and fear. They made me loose a toenail, they made me lose lots of important knowledge with flying over my head during lessons. They just inflict SHIT, please go somewhere and die all of you. You are monsters.

2) Killswitch Engage, and bands like it.

Killswitch Engage was close me two times in my life, both of the times I got so incredibly pissed off cause it sucked so much, what's their thing? Their image makes me want to puke - much - all over. It goes something like "we are the most tr00 fucking band in the whole fucking world".

There's two things about that makes me sick.
* The whole deal about being "true", so pathetic it hurts.
* The fact that if "true" was an expression I'd be used so far, far, FAR away form this tragical band as it is possible.

I don't like using the expression "emo", but ok, you know what I mean. During one of their concert, that a friend of mine absolutely wanted to be at, I had to listen to that shit for an hour - I saw red.

What they itroduced a song with was "ooh, where's all the fucking emos? They are probably at the toilet cutting themselves, but that's ok, cause we don't want no fucking emos on our concert, all the people here are true fucking heavy metal people!"

- Wake up mr singer-in-a-shit-band, 90% of your fans are emos? Your music is emo, your fucking image is emo. Your so called music does appeal mostly to emos - and here you go - asking 90% of your fans to litterally fuck off - and yourselves as well - GREAT WORK!

Another thing that made me so angry, and so provoked, sick ++ was your lil talk starting like this: "I'm gonna dedicate this song to all the big, fat, juicy pussys out there". Aint you just loving how it sounds? I don't - it disgusts me. Assholes!

Oj, this was too long. NEXT:

3) Homophobes

Why do you even care what the people around you does? Why do you even care if your neighbour likes fucking men?

Why is it wrong to love people of your same sex? Why is it your buissness who people love? WHY?

4) Sleet

Snow = Wet shit
Rain = Heavy shit
Sleet = Wet shit + heavy shit

What do you get when you mix this wet shit with hellofalot water? You get HELL, and not even a warm hell so you can get a nice lil' tan, nope. Maybe your toes change color, though...

It is nothing worse than going around in sleet up til your knees. it's heavy, it's wet, it's cold. Your toesies gets in pain - toesies are sensitive. The rest of you get cold, you get inflicted by this, you get angry, you do bad in school, you quit school, you become a junkie, your relatives won't talk to you, you die lonely and alone DROWNING in the friggin' sleet cause you're a homeless, poor bastard. Worst case scenario: You drown in the sleet.

WHY can't the weathergods decide whether they wanna drown us in snow or rain? Why do they have to send more shit at us at once? Sadistic bastards.

5) Snobs

Yep, then particularly sportssnobs - not sportspeople - just the snobby ones of them. Yeh know, the type that belives they are so goddamn cool? That look down on everything and everyone always? That use way too much perfume, and use every oportunity they get to show their muscles?

I say no more.

R.I.P.I.T.S.U.B

Last night I did not have a pleasent night, at least not at the point where I discovered the HUGE spider walking around on my bathrobe. I try to kill it - it escapes. Great, there goes my sleep tonight, I thought, and prepared to go sleep in the livingroom, on a sofa of sticky material (don't know the word, I think it's made of animals, and it's glissy) until I realized just how silly that would be. So I start looking for this ugly big bastard hiding somewhere between all the mess on my floor (and I can promise you, when I say "all the mess" that is to try to inform that that is indeed MUCH!). I pick up one clothing, shake it, put it in the passage, and do it with the next. Early in the process I see the spider, so I shake it just a bit harder. It disappears til god-knows-where, and my searching for it gets faster and more stressed up, for all I know it's in my hair with a she-spider (assuming my friend Eddy here is a male) producing small and disgusting baby-spiders. I look, I look, can't find it. WHERE THE HELL IS THE BASTARD!? In the stressful and very tensed panic I notice something that is tickling on my legs. I shake the leg a bit. I look down, and what do I see? Yes, exactly, a big, black klump with six legs crawling further and further up my body. Further and further, closer and closer upwards. I give a little scream and try to shake it off, after a massive shake of my foot I look down, half in panic, my eyes goes front and back. Is it there still? It doesn't seem like it, I can breathe again.

At least that's what I thought before the tickling come back 1o seconds later. I look down, and yes, Eddie is still mounting me (haha). And this is the point where I am glad noone was watching me, I start jumping around like an idiot, hitting the pants with my hands, shaking the leg like Elvis on drugs. Much, much more than I needed too. Eddie was probably long gone already with the first panic-filled shaking. Just to be sure I take of my pants after, and continue the spiderhunt in my underwear. Now I can't find it at all. I have to lift up every clothing and other objects that might have a nasty spider underneath, and after some minutes with careful searching for him, I find him. He tries to escape my evil look, he knows what's coming. He know he's messing with the wrong bitch, he knows he should not have mounted me.

He knew that this was where his life would end, that he'd get killed in my deathgrip between thick layers of toiletpaper. He knew that I'd squeeze him to death, and if he didn't die, he'd have to live with the horrible pains til I'd eventually throw him in the toilet, and give him the same destiny as the food we eat, and what we drink.

R.I.P.I.T.S.U.B

Rest in peace in the sewage, ugly bastard.

Christian, the goddamn gorgeous lion

Christian the Lion. Heard about him? Maybe, maybe not. BUT the fact is that you should have heard about him... It's at least on time you do, so look at this as a favour : D

I won't write much about the story behind it and stuff, that's why we like wikipedia, ne? But it is a lion, he got "raised" by two normal men, they had to relocate him. After all, a lion grows veery big, and it's not too easy to keep a big and brutal lion in a small London apartment. They sent him to Africa, and one year later the older owners, Randall and Bourke, went back to visit him. They got the message that "he will not remember you!". The youtube-clip under this shows the reunion, in this clip it has been one year since they gave him away to the wildlife preservation trust.



As you can see I do good in sharing this with the world. How is this not deeply touching? How is this not beautiful and gorgeous, and how does this not make your eyes wet? I can gladly admit that it made me drop a tear, or two.. or ten.. I mean, look at it! Look at the HUGS the lion is giving, they look warm, and good. And the general cuddling in the vid! Awwww! ( I obviously should not write when being this touched... I'm sorry, I'm gonna get serious again, I think.)

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. I'm gonna end this blogpost with a gorgeous picture, and a big HOPE that I'll one day get an animal as lovely as this!!

Thordis - den døde ape?

Nei. Den døde apen heiter Ida - og den døde for 47 millionar år sidan.

"Kvifor Ida? Kvifor kalle ein død ape for Ida?" Ikkje veit eg - spør pappaen til ungen som heiter Ida, og som fant det passande å kalle opp ein død ape etter sin datter.

Tenk deg dette:
Du blir til, dine foreldre går saman, diskuterar navnet ditt langt og lenge før dei finn det perfekte navnet til deg - DU ER EIN NILS. Greit, du veks opp. Dine første steg, dine første ord, din første date, din første omgang med heit sex, du blir konfirmert. Dine foreldre sine vesle, kjære Nils veks opp. Namnet Nils er ditt - det tilhøyrer DEG. Det har din historie i seg. For foreldrene dine er du Nils, for venene dine er du Nils, for venene dine sine vener, etc, etc, er du NILS. Men så finn far din ein død ape, kun nokre bein av ein død ape, faktisk ein 47 millionar gamal ape. Og for han er det greit å kalle han Nils. Det er greit å ta eit navn som han i alle sine år med deg har brukt om deg, til deg, for deg.

Det er då du kan begynne å lure på kor mykje dine første steg og din første bæsj i potta betydde for din far. Like mykje som nokre bein nedi jorda, som formar ein apekatt. Ikkje ein gong ein elegant tiger, eller ein majestetisk løve - niks, ein ape! Eit vesen som ikkje akkurat er så kresne når det kjem til kosten, eller som ikkje bryr seg nevneverdig mykje om korleis dei ser i sosiale samanhengar. Altså eit lite elegant vesen...

Dette får meg til å føle meg litt bedre - eg har det ganske godt eigentleg. Aldri har ein apekatt fått mitt navn tildelt av mine foreldre - kva meir kan ein be om for lukka? Bortsett frå kanskje litt god musikk og ein svær is frå ein isbar i Deutschland... : D