It seems like yesterday. We sat around the table, drinking beer, laughing, having fun. Little did I know, that this evening would lead to something dreadful. Little did I know that what seemed like a triviality, would have major consequences.
It was early in the semester, plans, hopes, dreams and intentions. Things were new for us all, new subjects, new time tables, new challenges. I personally had nothing to do with what was decided that evening, I was just the observer. I remained silent when I should spoken, still when I should scream "No, for the love of GOD, NO!". Knowing that you could have done something makes it even harder to say goodbye. But it is inevitable, at a certain point you simply cannot refuse to open your eyes - see the facts - accept the facts.
So here I am, trying to enjoy the last evening with you. Somehow it is hard to realise that you will no longer be here tomorrow. Hard to realise cause I do not want to realise it. Please, give me one more day - one more week. Why now?
I'm drawing my fingers through you one last time, not wanting to let go. But I have to face the truth. You will not even die a graceful death. Tomorrow you will be cut off by an electric razor, fall in a pile of dead hair, and later be flushed down the toilet - what a fate! You will be gone - and my boyfriend will end up looking like an egg. But in all the sorrow, it is important to see, that it is not over. Hair grows out again. The world goes on. However, before this happen: if you will see five eggheads wandering around the streets of Leipzig, you know that they all sat around the table the very night in question - the night that would change their lives more than they knew.
So what's the deal here? What happened this special evening? I think the time has come to tell you, readers: This very evening my boyfriend and his friends came up with this wacko idea of shaving their heads if they were to pass a certain exam at the end of the semester. And great news - they passed. And here I am - about to be the girlfriend of what looks like an egg. A charming egg - he'll get that. I'll just have to think every day that it's hair - it grows out again.
Well, well.. Now I'm spending the rest of the evening with my soon-to-be egg, parting with his hair, in other words: Goodbye.
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Sunday, 13 February 2011
A Bunch of Racist Assholes
Disclaimer: My language is not particularly nice within this blog post, if you have a problem with the word "ass" and similar, I suggest you do not read this post. Really.
Na, so who do I mean in the headline? My own kind, Norwegians. Of course just a tiny part of it, and of course there are plenty of racist assholes all over the world. Ok, so if you're a Norwegian, and not a racist asshole - we're fine, no need to get insulted then. And if you are indeed a racist asshole, please get the hell away from my blog. If I find you I will hurt you. That having been said, let's proceed, shall we?
To be able to understand the rest, this is the song that will represent Norway in Eurovision Song Contest this year:
I don't love it, but I don't think it sucks. My opinion on the song is anyway irrelevant, what is relevant is how much I hate these fucking racist assholes. Ok, so the comment field in youtube is clearly not the place to look if you want to locate the most intelligent people inhabited on earth, but sometimes I just can't help it. And it usually ends up pissing me off. Why? Some people can't think longer than their nose is, and should really all get a pair of robust boots up their asses.
The nominees for the price "biggest asshole in the world" are as followed:
Asshole 1: "great.. african reps norway.. fucking proud of my country now ... right.. "
Asshole 2: "Go back to Africa and let a Norwegian sing."
Asshole 3:"she is way too ethunic for my taste"
Asshole 4: "And this is NOT representing Norway, our country in any way. We are not africans. "
First of all: You are all (please note: referring to the previously listed assholes) very welcome to kiss my ass, even though I would say my ass is not worthy of your kisses. Actually, you can hate the song as much as you want, I don't care, I'm not here to protect it, but the colour of her skin is irrelevant. Why is she less Norwegian than you? Because she is not as pale as a corpse, blonde haired, blue eyed? Guess what, shitheads - skin colour does not denote nationality, maybe it did an unknown number of years ago, but for Christ sake: We live in 2011, wake up! Multiculturalism. It makes me wanna puke when I hear/read these kinds of statements, why can't the world just be a nice place?
For the record: I find this song better than what Norway usually sends abroad. Finally someone who applies some rhythm, and makes it catchy in a way. For those of you "wanting something Norwegian", guess how many times "Norwegian" music got 0 points in ESC? 4. And Norway was last 10 times. Because? Crappy music. So in my opinion, be happy that someone finally does something different, and stop judging people after skin colour.
By the way, readers. If anyone of you happen to know Asshole 1, 2, 3 or 4. Please do the following: Kick their asses, and tell me that you did. I will bake you muffins, or cake. Whatever you prefer. One should get rewarded for participating in bringing justice to the world.
And now I'm gonna watch puppies and kittens on youtube to calm down and forget for a while how many idiots the world holds.
Na, so who do I mean in the headline? My own kind, Norwegians. Of course just a tiny part of it, and of course there are plenty of racist assholes all over the world. Ok, so if you're a Norwegian, and not a racist asshole - we're fine, no need to get insulted then. And if you are indeed a racist asshole, please get the hell away from my blog. If I find you I will hurt you. That having been said, let's proceed, shall we?
To be able to understand the rest, this is the song that will represent Norway in Eurovision Song Contest this year:
I don't love it, but I don't think it sucks. My opinion on the song is anyway irrelevant, what is relevant is how much I hate these fucking racist assholes. Ok, so the comment field in youtube is clearly not the place to look if you want to locate the most intelligent people inhabited on earth, but sometimes I just can't help it. And it usually ends up pissing me off. Why? Some people can't think longer than their nose is, and should really all get a pair of robust boots up their asses.
The nominees for the price "biggest asshole in the world" are as followed:
Asshole 1: "great.. african reps norway.. fucking proud of my country now ... right.. "
Asshole 2: "Go back to Africa and let a Norwegian sing."
Asshole 3:"she is way too ethunic for my taste"
Asshole 4: "And this is NOT representing Norway, our country in any way. We are not africans. "
First of all: You are all (please note: referring to the previously listed assholes) very welcome to kiss my ass, even though I would say my ass is not worthy of your kisses. Actually, you can hate the song as much as you want, I don't care, I'm not here to protect it, but the colour of her skin is irrelevant. Why is she less Norwegian than you? Because she is not as pale as a corpse, blonde haired, blue eyed? Guess what, shitheads - skin colour does not denote nationality, maybe it did an unknown number of years ago, but for Christ sake: We live in 2011, wake up! Multiculturalism. It makes me wanna puke when I hear/read these kinds of statements, why can't the world just be a nice place?
For the record: I find this song better than what Norway usually sends abroad. Finally someone who applies some rhythm, and makes it catchy in a way. For those of you "wanting something Norwegian", guess how many times "Norwegian" music got 0 points in ESC? 4. And Norway was last 10 times. Because? Crappy music. So in my opinion, be happy that someone finally does something different, and stop judging people after skin colour.
By the way, readers. If anyone of you happen to know Asshole 1, 2, 3 or 4. Please do the following: Kick their asses, and tell me that you did. I will bake you muffins, or cake. Whatever you prefer. One should get rewarded for participating in bringing justice to the world.
And now I'm gonna watch puppies and kittens on youtube to calm down and forget for a while how many idiots the world holds.
Sunday, 6 February 2011
With the intention of turning your Sunday-frown upside down
If you would drug me down, put me into a completely black room without any contact to the outside world, or any knowledge about time, day, week, month or year. If you would keep me there for years, feed me through a hole in the wall where I'd get all food in floating form through a straw. No television, no newspapers, no nothing. I would go completely crazy. And in the state of being completely crazy - I swear - I would still be able to feel when it was Sunday, cause I am 100% certain that Sundays will always just feel a bit sadder, greyer and shittier. Now, this is not me making a bet or anything, so I'd really appreciate it if you would not kidnap me.
This particular Sunday you are all in luck, this is, if you like British humour. If you do not like British humour, I suggest you locate the cross in the upper right corner and click it. I would really appreciate it, cause guess what, I do not wanna be the person who made the crappy Sunday even crappier. That would make me the devil or something! And you know readers, that's just not me.
Ok, so lets get to business. The first attempt of making that Sunday-frown turn upside down!
If it is still a frown I officially failed as a blogger. But I'm not giving up before Hugh and Laurie gave it a shot too.
One last shot. And this, readers, is a classic. Thus: You have to find it awesome.
I hope I have made your Sunday evening feel a bit less like a Sunday evening. And that you smiled at least once. Then I'm happy.If you did not, I've gotta try harder some other Sunday, and mark my words: Once I will rock your Sunday!
Have a nice evening, everyone :)
This particular Sunday you are all in luck, this is, if you like British humour. If you do not like British humour, I suggest you locate the cross in the upper right corner and click it. I would really appreciate it, cause guess what, I do not wanna be the person who made the crappy Sunday even crappier. That would make me the devil or something! And you know readers, that's just not me.
Ok, so lets get to business. The first attempt of making that Sunday-frown turn upside down!
If it is still a frown I officially failed as a blogger. But I'm not giving up before Hugh and Laurie gave it a shot too.
One last shot. And this, readers, is a classic. Thus: You have to find it awesome.
I hope I have made your Sunday evening feel a bit less like a Sunday evening. And that you smiled at least once. Then I'm happy.If you did not, I've gotta try harder some other Sunday, and mark my words: Once I will rock your Sunday!
Have a nice evening, everyone :)
Friday, 4 February 2011
The Evolution of Smileys: The Golden Rule of the Mouths
Once upon a time, early in the history of internet, there were two smileys. One happy one, :-) , and one sad one :-(. Theoretically there were four, since well, they existed with and without noses, but lets say that the one without noses simply had a genetic error. Can you all imagine a life in which two simple smileys, and two handicapped versions of these simple smileys, were all you needed?
Today I can not and will not count the amount of smileys out there, but I am guessing millions. People tap randomly on their keyboard, and voila, a new smiley. Happiness and sadness are not longer enough, now it's of course hornyness, depression, hunger, tiredness, ultra sad, and super happy, cat face, frog face, angry, and I could go on the whole night but I will not. Sometimes you really profit from my laziness, readers. Let me hear a hallelujah!
A problem that developed over the years is the overuse of smileys. When "xD" first appeared I know that I found it awesome, and used it... let's say 'quite often'. And of course you use it when something is funny, so, for some people, maybe very many, maybe way too many, the "xD" is almost a signature. They feel that the sentence is not complete without one. So what happened, ladies and gentlemen. The smiley is completely overused, the effect is not the same as it once was. When it first appeared, and someone used it, it implied that something was oh, so funny. "OMG that's so awesome I peed a little!" Now it's just used randomly. "I bought a bike yesterday xD." or " I'm going to eat xD". Unless you have a very twisted sense of humour, you did not find that mentionable funny, indeed I hope not funny at all, cause that would tell me that you as followers only read my blog because your, and therefore also my humour is... let's say less good. Back to the point: If "xD" is the smiley used to imply that something is funny, and this effect is dead, what then? Is the world going under? Nah, let's just give him big eyes! "XD" should do, no? Ok, so now the effect of the big eyes don't work either, what the fuck do we do now? The Golden Rule of the Mouths, readers. It's like an unwritten rule, that I will now do you all the favour of writing down. I know, I'm such a giver. "When the writer would like to express happiness, sadness or that (s)he is amused, and belonging smiley does not show the mood strong enough, the writer should add extra mouths on the smiley". For those of you being unaware of this rule, I will explain it to you in detail, using examples that might just as well occur in the real life.
Friend: My dog just died.
You: :(
(dear readers, it's me, Trolldis. You can see here, that the ":(" simply ain't sad enough. Do you remember the Golden Rule of the Mouths? Let's try again)
Friend: My dog just died
You: :((((((
(pst, it's me again, readers. As you can see, the second example is hellofalot sadder, and in the smiley world this is not looking like very many chins, it does look like a damn sad sad face. Let's use another example)
Friend: My dildo just fell in my mother-in-laws head when she was opening the cabinet
You: xD
(small comment. As you can see, this is a situation where a simple "xD" simply is unfair for the humour of the situation. If you are as me, you will probably all lie on the floor twisting in laughter, and how does a "xD" show this? In no way, readers, it's a shame for the world of humour. Let's try again)
Friend: My dildo just fell in my mother-in-laws head when she was opening the cabinet
You: xDDDDDDDDDDD
As you see, the second examples, both given more mouths, serve the mood of the situation better. Imagine how insulted the friend will be if their dog died, and you don't even bother to make a damn sad smiley, just a sad one. Did you even consider that? You are a cold, cold person. Actually, why is a sad smiley called a smiley? I hereby rename it: Sadley. Where was I? Ah, right, conclusion. I hope very much that I have been solving alot of your problems within this blog post, and the next time you find something damn funny, or your friend's dog dies, you know what to do. The Golden Rule of the Mouths.
Next blog in these series: The Evolution of Smileys: The Inevitable Companion.
Publishing date: Unknown.
Starring: Smiley, Sadley and friends.
Good evening, all! :)
Today I can not and will not count the amount of smileys out there, but I am guessing millions. People tap randomly on their keyboard, and voila, a new smiley. Happiness and sadness are not longer enough, now it's of course hornyness, depression, hunger, tiredness, ultra sad, and super happy, cat face, frog face, angry, and I could go on the whole night but I will not. Sometimes you really profit from my laziness, readers. Let me hear a hallelujah!
A problem that developed over the years is the overuse of smileys. When "xD" first appeared I know that I found it awesome, and used it... let's say 'quite often'. And of course you use it when something is funny, so, for some people, maybe very many, maybe way too many, the "xD" is almost a signature. They feel that the sentence is not complete without one. So what happened, ladies and gentlemen. The smiley is completely overused, the effect is not the same as it once was. When it first appeared, and someone used it, it implied that something was oh, so funny. "OMG that's so awesome I peed a little!" Now it's just used randomly. "I bought a bike yesterday xD." or " I'm going to eat xD". Unless you have a very twisted sense of humour, you did not find that mentionable funny, indeed I hope not funny at all, cause that would tell me that you as followers only read my blog because your, and therefore also my humour is... let's say less good. Back to the point: If "xD" is the smiley used to imply that something is funny, and this effect is dead, what then? Is the world going under? Nah, let's just give him big eyes! "XD" should do, no? Ok, so now the effect of the big eyes don't work either, what the fuck do we do now? The Golden Rule of the Mouths, readers. It's like an unwritten rule, that I will now do you all the favour of writing down. I know, I'm such a giver. "When the writer would like to express happiness, sadness or that (s)he is amused, and belonging smiley does not show the mood strong enough, the writer should add extra mouths on the smiley". For those of you being unaware of this rule, I will explain it to you in detail, using examples that might just as well occur in the real life.
Friend: My dog just died.
You: :(
(dear readers, it's me, Trolldis. You can see here, that the ":(" simply ain't sad enough. Do you remember the Golden Rule of the Mouths? Let's try again)
Friend: My dog just died
You: :((((((
(pst, it's me again, readers. As you can see, the second example is hellofalot sadder, and in the smiley world this is not looking like very many chins, it does look like a damn sad sad face. Let's use another example)
Friend: My dildo just fell in my mother-in-laws head when she was opening the cabinet
You: xD
(small comment. As you can see, this is a situation where a simple "xD" simply is unfair for the humour of the situation. If you are as me, you will probably all lie on the floor twisting in laughter, and how does a "xD" show this? In no way, readers, it's a shame for the world of humour. Let's try again)
Friend: My dildo just fell in my mother-in-laws head when she was opening the cabinet
You: xDDDDDDDDDDD
As you see, the second examples, both given more mouths, serve the mood of the situation better. Imagine how insulted the friend will be if their dog died, and you don't even bother to make a damn sad smiley, just a sad one. Did you even consider that? You are a cold, cold person. Actually, why is a sad smiley called a smiley? I hereby rename it: Sadley. Where was I? Ah, right, conclusion. I hope very much that I have been solving alot of your problems within this blog post, and the next time you find something damn funny, or your friend's dog dies, you know what to do. The Golden Rule of the Mouths.
Next blog in these series: The Evolution of Smileys: The Inevitable Companion.
Publishing date: Unknown.
Starring: Smiley, Sadley and friends.
Good evening, all! :)
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Did y'all watch "Once"?
Today I saw the best film in a very long time... ok, at least since I saw Black Swan. (which, by the way, you should all go watch at this instant, cause it's incredibly good, and I suppose it cannot be hidden that Natalie Portman is gorgeous?) Namely (no, I have not been living under a rock, nor in a bubble, and yes, I know that it's old) Once. It's kind of a musical, but kind of not, with lovely music, where the actors aren't really actors but musicians (but it doesn't make the film bad, on the contrary!), and the two main people don't even have a name in the film. And it's special, unique, and far from clichèish. Though at the end I wish it would be, cause.. Well, now I'm in a pickle. I have two options. The first is to tell everything about the film, and then if you'd be interested to watch it, you wouldn't cause guess what, Trolldis spoiled it for you. Oor two, not tell anything about the film, you get bored, uninterested, and I could just as well have written all about it, but if I chose option two there are always some people that actually got interested from the little things I did indeed write, and.. Ok, I take the risk. Boring blog post, but you might thank me if you watch the film and I didn't spoil everything for you. Were was I? Oh yes. I wish it would be clichèish cause (censored). You know what, here's the trailer. Then you can't blame me for spoiling it, rather some guy on youtube.. I can live with that. Bitte schön:
Friendly tips, if you didn't watch it till now, then do! It's well worth 80 minutes of your life.
Ok, another subject (theoretically not, since I already mentioned it.) Black Swan, people! Awesome, awesome. Again, trailer, cause then ye can't blame me for spoilers. Oh, Youtube, I really do like you.
"Oh, so Trolldis finally pretends to care about her readers". I know what you're thinking, guys. But listen to this. Done with two exams, two! Defining Structuralism and interpreting "The Flea" by John Donne was parts of it. Plus general questions about Britain and about literature, definition of metre and rhyme, info about the English Sonnet. All ok, and I am (at the moment, temporarily) FREE! Free equals time for blogging, eating, sleeping, and other things that you will not have time to do when reading for exams. So no, readers, I did not forget you, Shakespeare and Roland Barthes were both unfortunately a bigger part of my life the last months. So I promise: I did not forget you. (I hope you didn't forget me either, would be totally sad).
Well, guys. Have a great evening. I can tell you that I will. Ah, lovely, lazy life, I've missed you!
Friendly tips, if you didn't watch it till now, then do! It's well worth 80 minutes of your life.
Ok, another subject (theoretically not, since I already mentioned it.) Black Swan, people! Awesome, awesome. Again, trailer, cause then ye can't blame me for spoilers. Oh, Youtube, I really do like you.
"Oh, so Trolldis finally pretends to care about her readers". I know what you're thinking, guys. But listen to this. Done with two exams, two! Defining Structuralism and interpreting "The Flea" by John Donne was parts of it. Plus general questions about Britain and about literature, definition of metre and rhyme, info about the English Sonnet. All ok, and I am (at the moment, temporarily) FREE! Free equals time for blogging, eating, sleeping, and other things that you will not have time to do when reading for exams. So no, readers, I did not forget you, Shakespeare and Roland Barthes were both unfortunately a bigger part of my life the last months. So I promise: I did not forget you. (I hope you didn't forget me either, would be totally sad).
Well, guys. Have a great evening. I can tell you that I will. Ah, lovely, lazy life, I've missed you!
Sunday, 16 January 2011
New years rant
Hello, dear readers. I know you're probably totally pissed cause I didn't wish you a happy new year yet? I hope you weren't all grumpy till now... Well, let me lighten up the rest of your year. Happy New Year! The new year resolution this year is to wish happy new year next year, when the year is actually still new. And you know loosing weight, start doing sports, eating healthier, be a good student, [insert all clichés] All are doomed, I know.
I'm always surprised the blog lets me log in, I kind of expect every time that I'll get some kinda refuse since the blog banned me.If I were this blog I'd totally do so, I refuse to believe that lousier blog owners exists. Oh yes, that should be another new years resolution, take better care of my blog, feed it a bit. Not to mention entertain my perhaps 3 readers, if they didn't ban me as well.
Is it a valid excuse that I've been busy? You know, reading books, Jane Eyre, Sense & Sensibility, writing essays about Violent Video Games and Children, and about Sonnet 128, and about Stephen King's "Last Rung on the Ladder". Is it at least a bit valid? (and I feel that you all can be a bit kind here, karma, people, KARMA!)
Fact is, readers, I'm turning old and boring, and the day that you'll realize, I'll be left here, with only a blog. No, actually, that's pretty much a lie, cause then I'll abandon the blog as well. So the blog will be left here, with nothing but old crap, and the occasional person stumbling in her by mistake looking for Sexy Germans in Lederhosen (and someone googling this term did indeed end up in my blog somehow). And it will die a sad death amongst endless loads of internet crap, what a destiny! I can always hope that you, readers, turn old and boring with me, and somehow find the old and boring crap I will write entertaining in your state of being old and boring. But I guess I shouldn't push my luck too far, I somehow suspect that it will come back biting me in the ass then.
Now, look what happens when a person writes just to write, so the blog does not end up hating me, and we'll always have a good relationship. A question just comes to mind, if a blog were to hate, would it hate most for occasional poopy blog posts, or no blog posts at all? I suppose it depends, if the poopy one kinda feeds it, I suppose it's just full and happy. So conclusion: A occasional poopy blog post is ok. (This is mostly to calm down my own mind when I wake up tomorrow and read all the crap I wrote yesterday, it's allright, Trolldis! Your blog is happy, that's aall that counts! Plus, if it is even poopier than you remember, you can always delete it.)
Now. That's enough crap for one evening. Once again, happy new year, and I hope not all new years resolutions went to hell already.
I'm always surprised the blog lets me log in, I kind of expect every time that I'll get some kinda refuse since the blog banned me.If I were this blog I'd totally do so, I refuse to believe that lousier blog owners exists. Oh yes, that should be another new years resolution, take better care of my blog, feed it a bit. Not to mention entertain my perhaps 3 readers, if they didn't ban me as well.
Is it a valid excuse that I've been busy? You know, reading books, Jane Eyre, Sense & Sensibility, writing essays about Violent Video Games and Children, and about Sonnet 128, and about Stephen King's "Last Rung on the Ladder". Is it at least a bit valid? (and I feel that you all can be a bit kind here, karma, people, KARMA!)
Fact is, readers, I'm turning old and boring, and the day that you'll realize, I'll be left here, with only a blog. No, actually, that's pretty much a lie, cause then I'll abandon the blog as well. So the blog will be left here, with nothing but old crap, and the occasional person stumbling in her by mistake looking for Sexy Germans in Lederhosen (and someone googling this term did indeed end up in my blog somehow). And it will die a sad death amongst endless loads of internet crap, what a destiny! I can always hope that you, readers, turn old and boring with me, and somehow find the old and boring crap I will write entertaining in your state of being old and boring. But I guess I shouldn't push my luck too far, I somehow suspect that it will come back biting me in the ass then.
Now, look what happens when a person writes just to write, so the blog does not end up hating me, and we'll always have a good relationship. A question just comes to mind, if a blog were to hate, would it hate most for occasional poopy blog posts, or no blog posts at all? I suppose it depends, if the poopy one kinda feeds it, I suppose it's just full and happy. So conclusion: A occasional poopy blog post is ok. (This is mostly to calm down my own mind when I wake up tomorrow and read all the crap I wrote yesterday, it's allright, Trolldis! Your blog is happy, that's aall that counts! Plus, if it is even poopier than you remember, you can always delete it.)
Now. That's enough crap for one evening. Once again, happy new year, and I hope not all new years resolutions went to hell already.
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Shit. I'm getting old.
I just had a great Christmas celebration in Northern Norway with my mother, my stepfather, my boyfriend and my oldest younger brother, and for the first time ever I met his son. This, of course led to my mother telling stories about what my brother and I did as kids, and at times this was indeed very funny.
My brother, when he was small, he was quite the flirt, or should we say perv? Once when we were in church, he cannot have been older than two years old. He impulsively kissed a stranger in the church, an old women that we didn't really know right on the mouth. She was totally flattered, and from that day on she always sent us flowers in Christmas. Some years later, he was probably around four, he flew for the first time. There were a couple of drunk guys sitting right next to us. Someone touched the stewardesses ass, as she turned to tell the drunk men to stop it, she saw my little brother, with a smile from ear to ear, staring at her in admiration, and she realized that the perv was a little bit younger this time. At this point she could not do other than laughing, saying that "well, you're starting early!". I bet stewardesses don't get felt up by kids every day...
I was the best big sister in the world, I pushed him down the concrete stairs, into a table, out of the bed. I took his bottle, drank all that was inside, and hit him in the head with it before giving it back. The number of stitches he had to sew cause of me is at least consisting of two digits.I would plan the crimes, I'd tell him what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Organized Child Crime to tha bone. I'd tell him how he would be able to steal as many cookies as possible, without leaving a trace. How he would be able to cover up the broken vase, that I broke, of course. I used the poor guy as my own, personal, loyal slave. One time our babysitter was talking in the phone, or something, and we decided to eat some. He fetched the ingredients, I was standing guard. Eating is not illegal, the way we prepared the food, however... It can be discussed whether mixing corn flakes, milk, sugar, and jam on the wall to wall carpet was a good idea. We would say yes, our parents were more on the no-side. I bet the carpet still stinks like rotten milk.
One Christmas, when we were both quite small, my mother was going outside for a few minutes, she told us to NOT play with the Christmas tree. We replied "yes muuum", and she went. What was the first thing we did? Make one guess. The sight awaiting my mother when returning was two children decorated with one Christmas tree. One could barely be seen, as the tree was covering him completely, while the other was shown partly. Kid number one screamed in full panic, while kid number two (being me, the evil one) had a very confusing, and even more guilty, look in its face.
At a certain age my brother had the bad habit of waking up in the middle of the night and watch telly, grab a bite, whatever he felt like.It is not a secret that this was not very popular among my parents. One night he woke up in the middle of the night to get something to eat. He snuck into the kitchen, cut a slice of bread, put on strawberry jam, and was about to eat as he heard our father wake up to go to the toilet. My father is rather bad tempered, so my brother did what he had to do to not get caught. In full panic he ran towards his room, realizing that he had to get rid of the evidence, so he threw the slice of bread the first and best place he found, namely in my fathers shoes. Bad tempered father + strawberry jam and slice of bread in shoe = damn hilarious, believe me.
Oh, the good old times.
Shit. I'm getting old.
My brother, when he was small, he was quite the flirt, or should we say perv? Once when we were in church, he cannot have been older than two years old. He impulsively kissed a stranger in the church, an old women that we didn't really know right on the mouth. She was totally flattered, and from that day on she always sent us flowers in Christmas. Some years later, he was probably around four, he flew for the first time. There were a couple of drunk guys sitting right next to us. Someone touched the stewardesses ass, as she turned to tell the drunk men to stop it, she saw my little brother, with a smile from ear to ear, staring at her in admiration, and she realized that the perv was a little bit younger this time. At this point she could not do other than laughing, saying that "well, you're starting early!". I bet stewardesses don't get felt up by kids every day...
I was the best big sister in the world, I pushed him down the concrete stairs, into a table, out of the bed. I took his bottle, drank all that was inside, and hit him in the head with it before giving it back. The number of stitches he had to sew cause of me is at least consisting of two digits.I would plan the crimes, I'd tell him what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Organized Child Crime to tha bone. I'd tell him how he would be able to steal as many cookies as possible, without leaving a trace. How he would be able to cover up the broken vase, that I broke, of course. I used the poor guy as my own, personal, loyal slave. One time our babysitter was talking in the phone, or something, and we decided to eat some. He fetched the ingredients, I was standing guard. Eating is not illegal, the way we prepared the food, however... It can be discussed whether mixing corn flakes, milk, sugar, and jam on the wall to wall carpet was a good idea. We would say yes, our parents were more on the no-side. I bet the carpet still stinks like rotten milk.
One Christmas, when we were both quite small, my mother was going outside for a few minutes, she told us to NOT play with the Christmas tree. We replied "yes muuum", and she went. What was the first thing we did? Make one guess. The sight awaiting my mother when returning was two children decorated with one Christmas tree. One could barely be seen, as the tree was covering him completely, while the other was shown partly. Kid number one screamed in full panic, while kid number two (being me, the evil one) had a very confusing, and even more guilty, look in its face.
At a certain age my brother had the bad habit of waking up in the middle of the night and watch telly, grab a bite, whatever he felt like.It is not a secret that this was not very popular among my parents. One night he woke up in the middle of the night to get something to eat. He snuck into the kitchen, cut a slice of bread, put on strawberry jam, and was about to eat as he heard our father wake up to go to the toilet. My father is rather bad tempered, so my brother did what he had to do to not get caught. In full panic he ran towards his room, realizing that he had to get rid of the evidence, so he threw the slice of bread the first and best place he found, namely in my fathers shoes. Bad tempered father + strawberry jam and slice of bread in shoe = damn hilarious, believe me.
Oh, the good old times.
Shit. I'm getting old.
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